I’m very proud of myself! That may sound like a weird thing to say but it’s true. The last month has been brutal for many reasons but it hasn’t stopped me. There were so many times during the last couple years that it would have been easier and totally justifiable to not go through with this years World Championships but I’m proud of myself for not giving up on my dream. I’m proud of all the little accomplishments and my perseverance.
It is slowly starting to really sink in that my Grandpa is no longer with us (he died Feb 17th) and I’ve missed his daily involvement in my life. He always wanted to know every detail about every training and what was happening at school. It makes me appreciate all the support he had given me over the years even more. It’s pretty incredible to have that much unconditional love from someone.
Then my mom got sick again earlier this month and spent almost a week in the ICU and that was very scary for all of us. It was a like a repeat of last year when she was in the hospital for 4 months. Thankfully she is going to be fine with some rest.
To top it off the whole time she was in the hospital I had my final exams for my first year of University so needless to say I was extra stressed and overwhelmed. I could have had my exams delayed under the circumstances but then they would be hanging over my head until after Italy and I had already done most of the studying. It sounds strange but I just put my ‘game face’ on and wrote the exams. I’m lucky I can do that for short periods of time.
I am most proud of my training! I’m not going to lie it’s been very different and difficult training without Mr. Legrow. I’ve missed him so much and missed his instruction and reassurance. It’s so important to get the feedback from your coach. I don’t want to let myself down and I also don’t want to let him down.
Lately I’ve been training twice a day. Every morning I go to the gym for a couple hours for spinning, weights, yoga, stretching or swimming.
Then every evening/afternoon I spend a couple hours in the dojang working on my patterns and sparring drills. I’ve been spending a lot of time on little details and making sure that I am satisfied with where I am at. It’s hard work but it’s so rewarding when I can see even the smallest improvement.
Between trainings I let my body rest and I’m enjoying time with friends and my music. It feels so good to have time to sing and play the guitar again. All these things make me feel balanced.
I’ve been blessed to have access to Black Belt Excellence and The Edge TKD when no one else is there. My dad always comes and helps me with counting in the patterns and my sparring footwork. It’s just nice to have my parents support and encouragement. It’s amazing to be able to share this journey with them.
This is the time in the competition cycle when all the doubts creep in since it’s getting so close.
I always ask myself…..Did I train enough? Did I do everything necessary to reach the podium? Did I learn enough to keep improving? Am I flexible enough? Is my nutrition sufficient for all the extra training while still losing weight? Etc. Fortunately I’ve been down this road before so I almost expected it and in a couple of weeks I’ll be where I need to be mentally. Right now…..it’s still physical training. I have also noticed that I catch myself visualizing again at night before I sleep or waking up from TKD dreams. As I was walking down the street I had a little different swag than normal. Within the last month, there is a huge transition in terms of mentality, attitude, feeling, and confidence that makes you ready to step onto the mats at the World Championships.
I am soooooo excited to go to San Francisco on Tuesday to spend an entire week with Mr. Legrow. We have an intense training schedule for the whole week. Mr. LeGrow is competing in sparring as well so he is just as motivated to train and I can’t wait. I hope he is pleased with my progress too 🙂
When I get home, I have another week of training and then I meet up with Mr. Legrow again in Toronto for the weekend to give a TKD seminar with him. Hard to believe but then it’s off to Italy.
The count down continues 🙂